In this month's column, she discusses why — even after finding love on dating apps — she's doing the challenge.
This past January, I went on one of the best first dates of my life. Up until recently, online dating was a big part of my life.
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I hope that by taking a year off apps, I can date more intentionally. Instead of sometimes dating people who are fun, yet I see no future with, I want to date someone who is on the same dating page as me, with similar relationship goals.
I am now determined to change that.
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My goal is to have a fulfilling, sustainable relationship, even though I travel a lot. While I did have some short-term relationships with people I've met IRL during my travels, finding a long-term boyfriend is definitely the most challenging aspect of my nomadic lifestyle.
I often question if I can have both or need to sacrifice one for the other.
But some of my nomadic friends have found success finding something more permanent, which gives me hope. I used dating apps to supplement — not replace — meeting potential dates in person.
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But since dating apps were involved in my professional life, I got to know the ins and outs of them, probably more so than other daters. Overall, I felt that I could use all the time I spent messaging on apps more wisely: Doing activities, offline, that interested me and seeing if I met dating prospects more naturally. My first experience of going off dating apps was App-less April — an experiment I did for Bustle where I took a month off from dating apps.
It illuminated a lot for me, but most notably I learned the value of initial face-to-face communication; focusing on in-person interactions versus being glued to my phone and worrying about which online match wrote me back or not ; it was a nice departure from what I was used to.
I was also able to focus more on in-person chemistry with someone versus online messaging chemistry which often does not match up in real life.
It seemed that meeting someone in person, through a friend, meant they were more accountable — it was like getting a real-life letter of recommendation, and the chances of them ghosting were slim-to-none versus app matches who shared no mutual friends with me and could easily go M. But, a month off dating apps is one thing.
My question now is: Will I be able to do it all year? And will I be able to meet my primary goal — date more intentionally, while still being a nomad, and find something that lasts.
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If you've ever actually spent a significant length of time scrolling through the endless faces on Tinder (or any other site/app), you know while that technology has. Meeting people online isn't for everybody, some people even have horror stories. Learn why you should try giving up on online dating. I put in a solid few years on dating apps and I've decided that I'm not carrying them with me into This isn't to denounce dating apps as. I'm abandoning online dating. I'm only in my 40s, yet I'd rather be alone in a rocker playing Solitaire, with an actual deck of cards, than go.